


Screwing Aslan

by derryderrydown



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-28
Updated: 2012-08-28
Packaged: 2017-11-13 02:30:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/498458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derryderrydown/pseuds/derryderrydown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's been trying to come out since he was sixteen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Screwing Aslan

**Author's Note:**

> I saw an interview with Simon Callow where he mentioned that, for years, he'd talk about being gay in interviews, but it never actually got published.
> 
> And, well, Tony Stark.

Tony's been trying to come out since he was sixteen.

His first solo interview was at the end of his second semester at MIT. 

The _Vanity Fair_ reporter gave him a professional smile that hardened when she realised he was staring at her cleavage. He'd feel guilty but it was such an awesomely cleavage-y cleavage that it demanded to be stared at.

"So," she began, then paused to adjust her blouse. Aw, fuck, denied. "Has it been difficult fitting in when the other students are so much older than you?"

Tony sighed at the obviousness of the question. "Not really. I'm way ahead of them academically, so they kind of forget while we're in class. Out of class, I spend most of my time with my boyfriend."

The interviewer blinked. " _Boy_ friend?" she said, feeling out the word.

"Yeah." Tony tilted his head and grinned lazily at her. "Josh. He's awesome. He's on the field hockey team."

He expected more questions, but she just cleared her throat and moved on to less exciting subjects.

He waited for the leak before that issue of _Vanity Fair_ came out. Even just the hushed expectation that ran round when everybody _knew_ there was a big scoop coming, even if they didn't know what it was.

He made the cover, of course, photographed wearing a lab coat over some pervert's approximation of a prep school uniform, with safety glasses shoved up on his head and a wrench in his hand. "THE FUTURE OF STARK INDUSTRIES" was emblazoned above him, blah, blah, blah, seen it all before.

The article was all shit he'd seen before, too.

He'd promised Josh he was going to come out. Josh thought he'd chickened out. Josh dumped him.

After a shot or five of bourbon, Tony phoned the reporter. "I gave you the fucking scoop of the century!" he said. "I mean, you could have totally broken the news that the future of Stark Industries is a faggot."

There was a moment of silence. "You were serious?"

" _Yes!_ " Tony snapped.

"I thought you were just trying to cover up for staring down my blouse."

"Why would I cover up for that? You have awesome tits."

"And you're a little shit," she said, and hung up.

* * *

He gave another interview at the beginning of his sophomore year. "Okay," he said, as the reporter sat down. "I'm going to give you a scoop."

The reporter looked sceptical.

"I'm gay."

The reporter brightened. "Really?" he said. "And you're okay with going on record with that?"

Fuck, this guy was dumb. "Would I have told you if I wasn't? Really? I am a genius, you know. A gay genius. Well, bisexual genius."

"Just let me call my editor," the reporter said, and left the room.

He came back a few minutes later, looking downcast.

"No go," he said. "My editor says we can't run it."

"Why the fuck not? It is totally newsworthy."

The reporter shrugged. "You're still a minor. It makes it more complicated. And more likely that your father will sue us for libel."

"I took a journalism class," Tony said. "Only because I needed some English credits and it was the only one that fitted round my labwork. Anyway, point is, I'm pretty sure that truth's an absolute defence when it comes to libel."

"Not with the kind of lawyers your father has," the reporter said.

* * *

When he was eighteen, Tony was woken at ten in the evening by a phone call from one of his father's lawyers. He'd been awake for three days, damn it, wasn't he allowed a _couple_ of hours sleep?

"The _National Enquirer_ is planning to run a kiss and tell regarding you," the lawyer said, so crisp and clear that Tony would bet he was sitting at a desk in a perfectly pressed suit and tie. "A young man named Marcus Bates claims he indulged in a BDSM scenario with you."

Fuck. Rhodey had totally been right that Marcus was a shit. One day, Tony decided, he would start to act on Rhodey's advice. Although on that day, his life would become a hell of a lot duller.

"He claims that the scenario involved Marine Corps uniforms and firearms."

Well, it totally could have done if Marcus had spoken up at the time.

"And, furthermore, that, during the scenario, you wished to call him, er..." The lawyer finally faltered, before managing to say, "Daddy."

Tony nearly dropped his phone. "The _fuck?_ " he demanded.

"Apparently, you were the sub in this scenario," the lawyer said.

"That is total fucking bullshit," Tony snapped. "That is an Everest-sized mound of bullshit. I want you to sue that fucker until he _bleeds_. And sue the _Enquirer_. And whoever makes the _Enquirer_ 's computers. And whoever makes their fucking notepads and _pens_."

"I'd be delighted to," the lawyer said.

The article never appeared. The _National Enquirer_ didn't print a derogatory word about Stark Industries for five years. Marcus Bates moved to a small town in Michigan.

The next time Tony was in New York, he showed the lawyer just what the BDSM scenario had involved. The lawyer thoroughly enjoyed it.

A few years later, Tony visited a small town in Michigan. "You know," he told Marcus, "if you'd just stuck to the truth, I wouldn't have stopped the _Enquirer_ from publishing. You'd have kept your payout. You fucked up."

Marcus glared at him, and went back to wiping down the bar.

His hairline was receding, Tony noticed, with vindictive pleasure.

* * *

When Tony was nineteen, he finally convinced _Advocate_ to break the story.

His parents were killed before it went to press, and _Advocate_ pulled it.

He wasn't sure why they never ran it after that. Later, he suspected Obie'd had a hand in it. Probably waiting to release it at the point where it would do the most damage.

* * *

Tony never hid the fact that he made out with guys in public. The papparazzi were always getting pictures of him wrapped round various models, actors, random pretty guys he found in clubs. 

It was Pepper who told him it was causing a backlash.

"Fuck the homophobic bastards," Tony told her, and turned his music back up.

Pepper turned it down again, and Tony put down his welding torch and gave her a disappointed look. "It's not the homophobes objecting," she said, and handed him her laptop. "It's the LGBT activists. Well, some of them."

Tony blinked. "You are fucking kidding me."

"Read it," she said, and he obeyed.

It was a messageboard, albeit one with surprisingly good grammar and very little capslock, and he was being criticised for... "Stagegay?" he asked.

"You know when drunk college girls make out with each other to turn on the guys?" Pepper said. "They think you're doing that."

"Oh, fuck them," Tony said, and turned his music back up.

* * *

"I am Iron Man," Tony said, and the room erupted. "And I'm queer," he added, but nobody heard. They were too busy shouting questions to listen to anything he said.

* * *

And then, yes, he was still bisexual but, more importantly, he was monogamous. Because Pepper was... Well, she was Pepper. What could _anybody_ else offer him that Pepper couldn't? 

"I still think I should come out," he said one night.

"Why?"

"Role model, high-profile queer, blah, blah, blah," he said, and buried his nose in her hair. "You smell of strawberries. How do you smell of strawberries?"

"Artificial scent," Pepper said. "Do you really think they'd _want_ you as a role model? You snapped off the Statue of Liberty's torch last week."

"It was about to fall off anyway," Tony said. "It was held on by paint and rust. And I'll fix it."

"I think you should," Pepper said.

"Fix it? Of course I should."

Later, Pepper said, "I'll arrange a press conference. Next week?"

"Unless I bend the top of the Empire State Building before then."

* * *

Two days before the press conference, the _National Enquirer_ runs a years-old picture of Tony half-naked and draped over Alan Cumming, with the headline "WHAT IS IRON MAN HIDING?"

"Oh, fuck the lot of them," Tony says, and buys the _Enquirer_.


End file.
